Those two days of my life could not have been worse. Could not have been better either. I am still in a fix whether those moments were purposed to break me down and succumb to life's twists and turns or aid me in emerging as a stronger individual bolstering the courage in me to face this world and let go of the past.I do not know. Nor do I want to circumspect. I wish to go ahead leaving certain things to destiny because some are better left untouched.
Irretrivable pain, anguish and of course, quietness was vividly apparent on my face. This was not deliberate. In fact, no one ever hopes to go through such emotions. My mother could sense something wrong( I often wonder how does she manage to understand my inner revolt without the help of any tangible words). But I was aware of the cause. I knew what was it that insidiously lowered my spirits. I was unusually silent. The house seemed dead because the child in me was no more. The happiness on my face and the liveliness in my words had become extinct. Still deep inside my heart I yearned to take myself to the battlefield. I am not a coward. I wanted to fight it out. I wanted to put my best foot forward because I never knew what it takes to lose.
I am a firm believer of the philosophy- Everything happens for a purpose. It's on our part to use our wit to discover the motive behind every situation God throws us in. I know whatever I went through those days had been deliberately designed for me. And believe me, adversities bring out those qualities in you which prosperity would have allowed to remain in slumber. I am relieved, I am contented because my heart's strength to combat with all that which I think is not correct, has dwindled manifold. I feel more complete as an individual not only physically but mentally too. And now it seems I could not have asked God for a better way to teach me the stark reality of this world.
